Life with ‘the Ladies’ – 33 years (and counting!) Living as a Blended, Extended LifeShare Family

 

Germaine and Marie are often referred to as ‘the ladies’ but to the Lefebvres, they are family, first and foremost. Germaine joined their household 32 years ago, followed by Marie, almost four years later. Now at 65 and 71 years of age, respectively, they’ve experienced four generations of living with Anita and Luke Lefebvre, through LifeShare.

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“I do this because I feel like I have a purpose and I’m making someone’s life better, or in this case, two people, as a matter of fact. Plus my own,” she says. “The ladies have enriched my life – they’ve kept me excited and wanting to do the things that make them happy because when they’re happy, I’m happy.”

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Like any family, they travel to Michigan to visit family and even co-ordinate their schedule so that Germaine can have her weekly visit with Bobby, her boyfriend.

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Relationships, especially those that are naturally-occurring including family and friends, are essential to living a fulfilling life for anyone, says Anita. 

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Germaine and Marie still maintain regular contact with their two biological brothers. There is also their chosen family of fellow campers at Blueberry Campground, north of the Sault.

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“We have what we call our Blueberry camp family that includes fires and potlucks with the other campers,” says Anita. “Germaine and Marie have developed their own relationships with some of those neighbours.” 

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And then there is, of course, the Lefebvre family connection. Long before Germaine first came to live with Anita and Luke, she already had a presence in their family. If you look at Anita and Luke’s wedding photos, you’ll see Germaine, in attendance. By day, Anita was providing support to her at her residence but that relationship was quickly growing outside of business hours and LifeShare enabled them to blend their home, together.

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Four years later, changing circumstances in Marie’s life resulted in her also joining their home which included Crystal, their seven-year-old daughter. 

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“It was a really good environment because Crystal saw what we all did together and she was very much a part of it,” says Anita. 

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Although people sometimes mistake the sisters for twins, they are six years apart and very much each their own person. Each has their own household responsibilities; the same as Anita and Lulu (as the ladies like to call him). It is a reciprocal relationship of everyone caring for one another.

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The Lefebvres are quick to point out their appreciation for the support they receive from CLA management and staff.

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With three decades (plus) of a blended household, a natural progression is the circle of life that includes people passing on and babies being born. Recent deaths, of people who Marie and Germaine were close very with, have hit hard. 

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“Those talks were tough,” says Anita, “But as much sadness as those experiences presented, it was also with the knowledge of how much those relationships enriched Germaine and Marie’s lives.”

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Out of all the rewarding experiences and events that have occurred throughout the past 30 plus years, there is one word that verified, to Anita, that she and Luke were doing all the right things.  It was the word ‘home’ and it was like a stamp of approval for a life well-lived.

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“The first time when Germaine stated “I'm home”, it spoke to me and I cried because I had never heard her refer to our home as her home and it was probably about three years after she had moved in with us,” she says.

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It was the validation that she needed to hear to know that life, for all of them, was going to be just fine.

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LifeShare is a chosen lifestyle for Anita and Luke, however, some people will ask if they’re ‘done’ with LifeShare, as it has been many years.

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“I respond with, this is my family, this is the family they know and as long as I’m here, they’re here.”